One simply cannot overstate the comfort of the Keen Portsmouth. They're like mansions for your feet, and that's just the beginning of the hyperbole. The fact is, these shoes are salvation for your feet. Salvation from discomfort of any kind. From pinching, from corns and callouses, from not being massaged at the end of a hard day of work. Simply the act of buying these shoes will bathe your feet in a previously unimagined luxury that can only be surpassed by wearing them every day and night - even to bed. Especially to bed. Your best ladies will thank you. Foreign dignitaries, heads of state, Nobel laureates, scientists, and rock stars will admire you. Assassination attempts will be made against you. Nations will conspire to effect your capture or death. The gods of Olympus will rise up in tumult and marshal the very fabric of the universe to take from you the supreme comfort that you alone possess, for no mere mortal can be let to bask in such glory while on this earth.
And for $65? That's, like, 34% off regular retail pricing. Crazy!