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Apr 18

Guarded

The guard on the first floor of our building stopped me this morning in the lobby, as I was humming, about to board the elevator.

"You just reminded me of someone I used to work with years ago," he said. "An old, black man from the South who used to say whistling and humming was a sign of contentment. When you came in here humming like that, you reminded me of him."

I took this as a good omen - a compliment, even. First, conjuring the stereotype of a contented and wizened old black man unselfconsciously singing to himself, to describe me, will practically earn you a marriage proposal. Second, I did grow up in the South, and I was humming - and feeling content, no less - so it was nice, as it must always be, to feel seen.

But I couldn’t respond to this guy, couldn’t thank him, couldn’t do anything but vaguely smile, because all I could think about was his breath. His mouth had recently been soaked in either Listerine, or whiskey, or both, and not knowing whether he had admirable hygiene or was spectacularly drunk paralyzed me.

So I smiled - vaguely, like I said, the kind of smile you might expect of a great grandmother’s ghost in a dream - as I backed into the elevator car and waited for the doors to close between us, and I let it carry me to my floor in silence.

Apr 17

Hey what are you doing later whaaa

Hey what are you doing later whaaa

Apr 16

Did United States even receive iCal invite to meeting in Yemen??
Next time, maybe al Qaeda should check everyone’s calendars to make sure they’re not scheduling over existing obligations. Thanks in advance.

Did United States even receive iCal invite to meeting in Yemen??

Next time, maybe al Qaeda should check everyone’s calendars to make sure they’re not scheduling over existing obligations. Thanks in advance.

(via Affordances matter — Medium)
No. The root of the problem is that any of the keys are gray instead of white in their inactive states to begin with. Trying to fix the “shift” key like this misses the point.

(via Affordances matter — Medium)

No. The root of the problem is that any of the keys are gray instead of white in their inactive states to begin with. Trying to fix the “shift” key like this misses the point.

Apr 14

romainlaurent:

One Loop Portrait a Week - #32
Darwin Deez hovers majestically 
www.romain-laurent.comfacebook / instagram 

romainlaurent:

One Loop Portrait a Week - #32

Darwin Deez hovers majestically 

www.romain-laurent.com
facebook / instagram 

Apr 11

Apr 09

To Test Your Headphones

Ryan asked:

With what song/track would you test out a new pair of headphones?

And he got some great answers. And I thought, “I have some answers too.” But unlike people who just answered his question inline like normal human beings, I am full enough of my own cheap self to believe my answers merit broader exposure than they would receive on Ryan’s Activity page alone. Plus, I’m looking for new headphones and his question made me think about how I could better go about my shopping. So here are the four songs I decided to put on my phone today, after thinking long and hard about Ryan’s question. They are the four I will use to decide what headphones I like best.

  1. Paranoid Android" by Radiohead
  2. Good Bait" by John Coltrane
  3. Partition" by Beyoncé
  4. Verdi Cries" by 10,000 Maniacs

Admit it. It’s a good list. Covers a lot of territory. It’s not a bad list at all. Not that bad.

Whoa, whoa, slow down now Jason from Comcast. I don’t think anyone here wants war.

Whoa, whoa, slow down now Jason from Comcast. I don’t think anyone here wants war.

Apr 06

[video]

A Rollerskating Jam Named Saturdays is a misleading, albeit catchy, tune.

Normally, see, we spend Saturday sort of dicking around and half-heartedly running errands. There’s the occasional baseball practice, and those are going to get less occasional shortly. We get groceries, maybe go to half-price books, recuperate from the workweek. It’s an okay routine, but then the pressure is on, on Sunday, to make sure the kids finish homework, to plan dinners for the week, to get the laundry folded and put away, to pick up around the house, and to avoid killing one another as our stress escalates and we bump into one another as the weekend draws to a close. It’s an okay routine, I guess, except that Julie and I have noticed that if there’s going to be a kidsplosion, it’s almost always Sunday afternoon. We can’t always tell when they begin to brew, but it’s generally Conner who escalates it to the level of parental intervention by threatening to murder Jack over something like a disagreement over whose shirt that is or isn’t. Okay, so not such an okay routine.

This weekend, I told the boys about this pattern we’d noticed, and told them we were going to force a change. This weekend, instead of waiting until Sunday to handle obligations, we were going to load them up on Saturday. Homework and chores needed to be done Saturday. No ifs, ands, or buts. They weren’t interested in my rule-change until I told them that I planned to take them to see Captain America at 7:00, but only if all their homework and chores were finished by 5:15. They sprang into action like… well… like springs I guess. By 4:45, everyone had finished their homework, put away their clothes, blah blah blah, and at 5:30, out the door we went to see the movie.

Let me tell you, the difference today has been stark. Conner’s still in his bathrobe (1:56 PM thank you for asking) and for once, I don’t care. Jack cleaned the kitchen floor to earn a few bucks this morning, and he and Alex are downstairs Minecrafting away. I have groceries for the week, clean clothes everywhere, and right now I’m even washing our down comforter, which is how you can tell I really have some time on my hands. I’m even about to go outside and replace my scooter’s battery and see if I can get the thing started. Then I’m taking the dog to the park.

Maybe that sounds like busy-body hell to some of you, but it’s one of the easiest Sundays we’ve had in a long, long time.

Lesson learned: Saturday is for chores, so Sunday doesn’t have to be.